I am trying to crawl away, but Fraser is the ever vigilant Cave Mountie, and drags me back to the blanket. He puts me next to Turnbull, who wraps me in his arms like a blonde teddy bear, and covers us both. I guess he is going to make sure we are not disturbed tonight until Turnbull wakes. This makes me angry for some reason and I glare at him.

He grunts.

I take it that is Cave Mountie for sorry, Ray. At least he is still in there somewhere, but it doesn't make me happy. Especially seems how I am the one being stroked like a cat. Frase he is doing it again, leave my hair alone, I am not a damn pussy!

There is a something you don't see everyday, Fraser grooming himself... like a cat! That's right, he is licking his skin clean. There is a perfectly good stream over there, apparently they like them for navigation, so go use it! He sees me watching and gives me the look. Oh, of course, how stupid of me, animals drink from that stream, so we are not to pollute it with our baths. Bastard!

Hey! So does that mean when he is through, he is going to lick me clean? I get another look, similar to the other, but more tolerant. That is a definite no. Oh well, I will use the stream when Dudley Do Right over there goes to sleep. He knows I can't go anywhere, so I won't try to run. That means I actually get to sit watch, in the dead of night, when it is fucking freezing! Yea, me! If he thinks that is going to stop me from bathing, I will show him! Polar Bears swimming teams can do it, so can I. Just be glad it is nothing but a slow moving creek about two feet deep, no swimming required!

So I snuggle closer to the human heater, and go to sleep. I am going to need it, after that bath, I won't sleep for a week. It doesn't take me long being next to Turnbull as his breathing is so regular I wonder if he is really asleep. When I awake, Fraser is snuggling in next to Turnbull from behind and taking the blanket from me. This is my clue to get up and go tend the fire, as if the first fifteen grunts and pushes didn't say it.

Okay, I get it, I am up. God in heaven it is cold! Okay, gotta think warm thoughts. Screw that, I need a bath, and the Mounties are out of it. Grabbing what Fraser had fashioned in to soap from what I don't care, I head off to the water. The soap smells horrible, but then again I don't have to lick it from my body, that sick freak!

Okay, it is a full moon, full ass, I am naked as a jaybird, and standing here in the middle of the creek. My balls are gone, and little Ray is all shriveled. A dunk now would get me wet, but I would probably die from the shock, gotta splash first. I bend forward, splash some on. Dear God that was cold! More. Okay, I am wet, just use the soap and get on with it. Crotch, arm pits, and hair first. Next the skin, and the ass for last. Still sore. I am all soaped up, eyes are closed, and nose is held.

This is captain to engineering, prepare to dive.

We already 'ave cap'n, yur balls are gone.

Dive, dive, dive!

I sank beneath the water fast. And then shot up fast. Fuck that! I go back under roll three times and then shoot up on to the moss covered bank. My skin is clinched tight to my body, nipples could cut glass, and dick.... AH! Where is it? It is nothing but shriveled skin! Gotta get back to the fire. Fire is good.

Racing back to the fire I stub my toe on something and have to start bouncing around as I mutter incoherently. That is how the Mountie found me. No, not Fraser or Turnbull, a new Mountie. I didn't know that some Canadians were Catholic, she crossed herself and muttered a couple prayers as I howled in pain. She probably thought I was worshiping Satan, dancing with the Devil in the pale moonlight. Oh well, I will never know as that is when my two big Cave Mounties came in and spirited me away. She was in such a shock she didn't even follow.

I think she was only partial Canadian Mountie, cause Fraser would never have let me get away with this. Yeah, on her mother's side too, cause Fraser got it from his father. So it means the true Mountie breeding comes from the father. I may yet be able to write a paper on this. But for right now I have to keep my blanket closed as they still won't give me back my clothes. Every time I ask, they won't look at me.

We moved on for the rest of the night, which turned out to be only two hours. Stopping at midday cause of a heat wave, Fraser got to sleep some more. Four hours later the heat had broke and we were on our way toward Canadaville, population: completely insane!

This was not a fun trip, while I slept during the heat wave, Turnbull had been making something from a couple skins. I now have a pair of squirrelly briefs three tails from the fasteners with a little wooden ring like girls used in their shirts in the eighties to make them into middrifts. I look like I am wearing a diaper! At least the Beastmaster got a loin cloth to cover his briefs. When I asked them for something like that, they just looked at me like I was stupid.

I knew it. It is official. I am these Mounties' Bitch! All they need is someone to look good and have sex with. I am a trophy wife for Gods sake. After the fourth day, I refused their advances completely. The sixth day of walking in nothing but the squirrel brief and I was ready to kill someone.

My hair was wild, my skin was dark, feet toughened up, the only sign I didn't come from the jungles of Bora Bora was my glasses. But even they weren't immune to the Mountie sex drive. I was wearin a pair of lenses held together by a leather thong over my eyes like one of them fetishist's masks. Apparently, one of them had stepped on them in the mad dash to get to me in the middle of the devil dance.

So the only way I can wear them is if I got the leather thong on. Until I met Fraser, I thought it was just a pair of kinky underwear. Far be it from me to remain ignorant on such things.

Here it is the sixth day, going into the seventh night since I was taken from my city by the Mounties. If my geography lessons hold out, we will reach Fraser's home lands in about two weeks. Once there, if I am not rescued first, I am going to hop on the nearest plane, squirrel brief or none.

I am also wondering why that shit hasn't worn off yet. I mean six days, six days! Neither one of them has shown any sign of waking up from the drug stupor. Whatever this shit is, it is strong. I have heard of some drugs keeping people strung out for a week's time, so tomorrow they had better start showing signs of being their normal ... their freaks selves or so help me!

We are moving north west, always north west, the birds are becoming more frequent and the guys brought home a moose with only two spears, I was impressed. Of course if I had had my gun, the Moose would not have tried to hump Turnbull. It was their fault for covering their scent in that girl Moose piss. It was funny up to the part where the Moose got a look at Turnbull's dick. I never thought I would see the day something that big would get penis envy. But it was in enough shock for Frase to stick it with that spear through the heart, clean kill. Efficient bastards, very good at poking things with sharp pointy objects.

Not going there.

So we got a moose pelt, and some horns for knives. I think they are planning stocking up for winter. They keep stopping in areas with large root supplies. Of course the short person gets to dig them up and clean them. I make the meals, and clean their clothes. For some reason they seem to keep the uniforms on when traveling. At night they snuggle under the blankets like puppies, completely nude. I get watch some times, but mostly I am stuck in the middle. It is okay, they are warm, and it does get cold. Oh, and I get to grope them as much as I like.

We are stopping again, there are no root plants around. What are they up to? Fraser is taking off his uniform, and Turnbull is doing the same. Nice pressed corners, rolling them up and stuffing them in the satchel made from a raccoon. They are spreading the blankets, must be bedding down for the night.

Oh dear.

Fraser has the lube out and Turnbull is circling round to cut off my escape.

Oh shit!

That is more like it. I am not going to be their fuck toy all the way to the North West Territories. Time to come up with some evasive maneuvers. I feint left and turn right ... in to Fraser's arms. A second later Turnbull is pressing something hard and hot up against my backside. That had better be a fire poker, Constable!

He ground it in deeper, nope, not a poker, something deadlier. Oh Gods their smell is driving me to distraction. You never notice that kind of thing living in the city, and when you do it is usually bad BO. Not this, nope, this is something different. Pure male arousal. Nothing else like it.

Fraser is nibbling at my one side of my neck, while Turnbull is on my other side playing with my ear. I know what a cat feels when you scratch the inside of the ear. Boy it feels good, something down south is starting to take notice to the heat, scents and all sorts of other good things that are going on.

No, bad dick! Stay flat. Fraser keep your hand away. Turnbull that is not a place to put yours! Oh what the hell, why not? Oh yeah! Because I don't want to be fucked again. I said no! No, bad Mounties, no biscuit! This is so embarrassing, just imagine if someone walked in on us. I mean it's not like we are in the middle of the woods. Ooops my mistake, we are in the fucking woods!

Again, nobody cares as I am dragged over to the blanket. Who's first to top me? I know I am not going to be the one topping, that isn't done in their minds. Big strong hunters always take the little gatherer, it is tradition. But what a tradition, rowr!

It turns out to be Turnbull as he is a little too impatient. I can handle it though. I am sitting on the blanket, and he is trying to push me back. He's as horny as a goat with two dicks. Well, I got news for you, pal, I aint spreadin 'em without a little foreplay.

Well, at least it was a thought. He got impatient, picked me up, stripped off my briefs, and wrapped me around him like an octopus. He is already slicked up, again Fraser ever the busy bee. When he slams home, the scream isn't too loud. But it was enough to startle him in to letting me adjust before he continued.

This time it was all stimulation, and he slid out easily. We are in missionary position, me on top of him. What a work out, my thighs are already killing me. I go up, and he pulls my hips back down. Up and down, the motion is familiar already, and it feels good too. Each downward thrust I grunt as he fills me.

After a time I start to feel the effects of his pressing against my prostate, it is a strange feeling. Every bit of contact sends a sensation all along my dick. Let me tell you enough of this, and Mr. Happy gets pretty excited. In fact, oh oh oh oh AH! My ass clenches and I cum on Turnbull, not very pretty, but it felt good.

But old 'Bull don't let a little thing like a tight ass and a my orgasm stop him. He keeps right on sticking it to me. Six, seven, eight, nine, and ... he groans. Another slam and I get the sensation I am being filled with hot lava. I love that feeling. He does it again and again. Then he stops, eyes roll up in his head, and he falls back asleep. Like clock work with that guy.

I feel like joining him, but there is an incessant hand rubbing my back that I realize has been there all along. Fraser wants to play too.

My thighs, butt and groin muscles hurt too much for me to be strattlin him, but he doesn't want that. He is the old fashion kinda guy, always has to be on top. So I let him.

He pushes my legs apart and sets himself between them. Boy is he happy to see me! All slick and glistening in the sun, he looks pretty good. Harder than I would have liked after my current bout, but, he penetrates in one thrust. For about two minutes we lay there, face to face. He looks at peace, for the first time in the two years I've known him.

Arching his back, Fraser pulls out to the tip, then pushes back in. We are doing it slow, he likes it that way. I can go either way as long as I get off. He makes sure he hits my prostate with each thrust. We are both moaning with every motion. My breathing is becoming labored as I am get hard again.

He is going to kill me, I just did this, and am about to do it again. As he pulls out again, a hand, not his, starts to stroke my chest. It appears Turnbull has decided to rejoin the living. I finally see him as he starts to kiss on Fraser's strainin face. So it appears they have been doing other things on them hunting trips. When Turnbull's tongue presses on a spot behind Fraser's ear, he grunts and slams in to me. A sweet spot!

Turnbull takes this as encouragement and increases his actions. Fraser likes it and increases his pace, but is still going slower that Turnbull and I went. Harder, that time I felt like he was drilling for oil. Deep, steady motions keep causing me to lose focus on the action above me as they are now making out like teenagers. In the next moment, two things happen: Fraser's face scrunches as he groans and cums, we hear the click of a shotgun hammer.

Of all the times for someone to find me, it would be now. Murphy's law should be changed to Kowalski's.

"What in fuck are ya doin 'ere?"

Greatness, in all of fucking Canaukland, we happen to end up in the place with the only Goddamned hick!

"What does it look like, genius?"

Dumb ass looks at me, he is missin more teeth than he's got. He has this look on his face that makes me glad Fraser is holding me down, cause this shit would be dead other wise. However if the state of my Mounties is anything to go by, he hasn't got much longer anyways. That is something I forgot to consider, that they might not let me go. Right now I couldn't care two shits less.

Sic'em Turnbull! I didn't get to cum 'cause of that bastard.

Dip shit is backing up, got that gun trained on Turnbull but is switching between all three of us. He is slowly going away, if I don't stop Turnbull, he won't make it. There is only one weapon that I know that doesn't require me to physically move from this position. I whimper. Works like a charm, both Mounties are back at my side and checking on me.

I can do no more, just hope that his knowledge of these back woods is enough to keep him away from my Mounties. My Mounties, there is a new idea, since when did they become mine? Since they started tappin my ass for oil! Speaking of which, I still am hard as a rock. When I shake it at them, they look from one to the other, shrug, and roll over. Damn them! After a quick jerk session, I am too tired to clean up, so I pull the blanket up around me and go to sleep.

The next morning there is a heavy dew on the ground and my hair is the only thing that is coated in it cause that was all that was sticking out from the roll. I look around though bleary eyes, they are no where to be seen. Figures, means I gotta get things set up to go on today. About noon is when they finally strolled back into the camp. They are covered from head to toe in blood. For a moment I felt sorry for the nosy hick, but then I noticed they had a buck with them, or what was left when they were through.

Seems he challenged Frase for dominance of the territory when he had been taking a piss. They take high offense to that, or so he would tell me later. Bare handed, they had tore the poor dumb animal to pieces, but not before Turnbull snapped its neck from behind. Never piss off a Cave Mountie! The skin was the only thing they took any time in removing with care in their anger. That night we spent cleaning ourselves in the stream, and me cursing as I soaked my sore ass. Did I forget to mention a victorious Cave Mountie is a horny Cave Mountie?

So it was not until the next day we moved on. As always Fraser was in the lead, I was second and Turnbull was in the rear. Each of us was loaded down with supplies, but I got the brunt of the load due to my position as homebody. I was dragging a stretcher loaded down with most of our supplies like that horse off of ole Yeller. Felt like it too. I wonder if I am going to have to be shot ... no that is the dog. Fraser once told me that the dogs used to hall around the crap for the Indians, but when circumstances changed, they ended up as dinner. Ah crap! I guess I better keep spreadin for the guys before I join the deer.

Things remained uneventful for the next week, it got colder at nights and warmer during the day summer was coming fast to Canada. Life had become more frequent and birds became our main staple aside from the roots and whatever they gathered while hunting. There was a time on the third day, Frase and Turnbull brought back mushrooms. That lead to some interesting times. I finally got to watch them go at it. Turnbull puts me to shame on responsiveness.

After that they laid off the mushrooms, and focused on stashes they found by watching squirrels before killing them with a sling shot. That was nice, squirrels and nuts brought to me by a coupla pistachios. We had them for about two days before we came upon hills covered in wild mushrooms, Turnbull actually broke down into tears. I pocketed a squirrel skin full for dinner. I don't remember what happened after I ate a handful, but I woke up covered in bruises, bites, and hickeys. Guess they weren't safe either.

The guys came back around noon, Frase was limping, and Turnbull actually froze when he saw me. They were covered in bites and their backs were clawed up. Guess that means I had a good time. Funny thing was, I wasn't sore at all, and my walking felt a little easier, like I was used to gettin it regularly. It had also been three days. So that finished the second week I was out here.

After that I was watched constantly. They even leashed me to a tree while they were out hunting. Maybe I had more fun than I thought. So here I was tied back to my tree of the day. I felt ready to chew my own foot off. It wasn't until after I saw it, that I heard the bear. I think the bear was more afraid of me than I was of it, but I did one hell of an impression of being scared.

It wanted our food, and I wasn't about to let it tear open the only thing that kept me warm at night to get to it. We had wrapped up our food in the blankets to keep the animals out of it, turns out we weren't thinking big enough. Now I had a dumb plan, I was going to fight this monster off our food, and make it sorry it ever tried. Lovely in thought, terrifying in practice. But never underestimate a desperate Chicago kid.

He hit me on the third swipe, not cuts but a hell of a lot of bruises. So I wasn't a kid anymore, but that damn bear wasn't about to get my blankets or food! By sheer luck they picked this time to return. They came up behind him and distracted him while I dove out of the way.

He turned on Turnbull and started to charge. Fraser hit him with a spear to the belly, but he batted it away. Then it turned on Fraser. Fraser was closer to him, and reached the Mountie before Turnbull got his spear. Fraser tripped as he walked backwards away from it. Turnbull rushed forward speared the bear in the side, only to be knocked in to a tree and unconscious. The bear was almost upon Fraser again so it was up to me.

I grabbed the only thing I could get my hands on, a broken log, an eight inch wide log we were going to use for tonight's sleep watch fire. I brought it down on his shoulder while aiming for the head. The beast howled in pain and rage as I broke his shoulder. Before I got him he had swiped Frase across the chest, leaving superficial cuts. When I saw this, I got pissed. He turned on me, intent to scream his anger. Don't ask how, but I found the strength to swing around, bring that log up, and smash in to his snout. A sickening snap, and the bear's muzzle flew from his body. Seeing this, his eyes went wide. I roared at him, then let loose another swing with this over two hundred pound log against his head. This time I swung down, and slammed his head into his torso. He blinked once, then fell dead. But I wasn't through yet!

It took both Fraser and Turnbull to pull me off his broken body. There weren't any protruding bones because nothing was solid enough to poke through. Never in all my life had I shook so badly as when I saw what I did to that bear. I didn't eat for three days, and Fraser let me lay on the stretcher as he pulled it along. At the end of the third week, I still wasn't ready to speak, and by the looks of them neither were they.

Frase wouldn't stop looking around with glee as we tried to keep moving. Finally Turnbull and I let him wonder off on his own. It was okay, he was finally home.

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We reached the cabin almost two weeks later. The rains had started two days before, and I was miserable. My Mountie escorts were at home in their natural element, which is funny because I thought Turnbull was from some place like Toronto. So they were ready to have celebrate reaching their destination, and I was ready to go to sleep.

Following morning after we arrived I awoke sick as a dog, and spent the rest of the day trying to keep down the soups Fraser made. I thought he looked more himself today. He seemed more than happy, he was content. This made me smile. After attempted lunch, Turnbull spent an hour with me. I felt a little better, but not much. They spent the rest of the day setting up the fire wood, and the supplies they brought back from the woods.

Three days later, Fraser said his first word. It was one that made me kiss him thoroughly and senselessly. Turnbull said the same, and got a peck for his efforts. Over the next two weeks their vocabulary increased to include half the words in a trashy slut novel. The things children pick up when you are sick.

************************************************************

"I guess I am a bad influence."

"Yes, you are." She smiled at me. "When I arrived yesterday, I nearly had a heart attack when my brother's subordinate sniffed me up. How long do you think before they are back to them old selves?"

"It's hard to say, Maggie." I smirk at her skeptical look. "From my experience, which I will not discuss with you, it will take another two months before they are fit to pass as Canadians, right now they could pass as one of us Yanks."

She had the decency to look uncomfortable over that one. "Well, it appears as though they are making excellent progress. At least Constable Turnbull didn't bash me on the head and drag me away to have his way with me."

I didn't say anything, I didn't have the heart to. What was I to say, for the past seven weeks after being done the same thing, I have been having an off and on affair with her brother and his fellow constable. I told her about being kidnapped and the trip, but nothing more than PG-13 graphics. She finally caught herself over the kidnapping part and blushed again.

"Oh dear, I am terribly sorry, I forgot again. Please forgive my slow memory, sometimes I think I like the taste of my shoes." Times like these I see the family resemblance and wonder why neither Frase or myself saw it before. She has his dimples when she blushes.

"It's fine, don' worry 'bout it. We are cool, Frase does it all the time."

She perked right up. "Really?"

"Yeah, in fact I was just thinking that you both have these cute dimples..." Okay, did not just say that. Too late, she is blushing. Say something before she pieces it together! "Of course they look much better on you." Close, but now she thinks yer interested. Get rid of her before she gets too close. So I pretend to gag, and it turns into the dry heaves. Big mistake as she is now at my side pounding on my back.

The sounds of my gagging brings the guys. Instantly they are at my side, grunting and making sounds of concern. Turnbull's hand is a little too high up my thigh, but I take it in mine before Maggie can see. I think I got pneumonia or somethin. May be it is a delayed reaction to being out in the wilds for so long. Whatever it is, Maggie said it is going to get worse before it get's better, that it has been going around a lot. Just my luck, I am going to be stuck in bed for the next several weeks and Maggie is going to be right here by my side.

When the worst of it is over, she is going to take me in town to get checked over. She has a radio transceiver in the bedroom, underneath the floor boards to prevent being stolen. So she called in my location, and the condition of us guys. They told her we are quarantined for three months, that the Embassy in Chicago will be informed of our status.

I am now on a say-bat-ankle to the great north for as long as this takes. Fraser, Maggie, and Turnbull were given the same thing. The Ice Queen is milking up the publicity for all it is worth, saying that drugs are a problem of the world over. Seems she kindly left out the part where her Mounties were sniffing her crotch like a dog. While her people are here, she is taking a tour of the States speaking out against the use of Drugs and the negative side effects on those around them. Oh the humanity!

Dief is on his way here, seems that the Vecchios aren't able to keep up with his need for a stable diet of donuts, cup cakes, ding dongs, ho hos, Twinkies, marshmallows, moon pies...etc! The duck brothers and the other Ray are taking care of things for us back in Chicago until we return. Seems Stell had me legally declared dead and got my stuff, so now I have no official status in any country until I am well enough to contest the judge's ruling. May be Fraser and Turnbull can pulls some strings and make our sinful love, legal. Until then we are kinda in limbo, oh well. So that explains the aftermath here-to-now. As for the future, who knows.

Say, do you suppose I can trick Maggie into going out hunting for dinner? Well, not trick exactly, more like get her to go, while leaving my Mounties behind? I mean I am sick, and need two big strong men to take care of me. Nah, she would probably say that if I was that sick, she should stay too. I will just have to send one of them off with her. Who to choose... Fraser likes to bite hard, but Turnbull likes it rough. Turnbull leaves the less visible marks of the two, so...

He just walked in the room and seen my grin. Yeah, he's happy to see me too. Things are startin ta look up. I think I am goin to like being stuck here for a while.

Isn't Canada grand. Canada, where they grow everything big, from the Mounties, to colds. They should change the slogan to, "Canada, if not for the nature, at least cum for the Mounties."

The End.......

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