I Just Called To Say I Love You.

By Lopaka Tanu

Disclaimer: I do not own Due South.

Summary: Call me! Call me any time.

Author's Note: Italics symbolize a gravilly, bedroom voice.

Ray placed the phone on speaker as he dialed the number. It rang twice before the click of someone picking up the receiver.

"Canadian Consulate, Constable Turnbull speaking, how may I direct your call?"

"Yeah, Turnbull, this is Ray, put me through to Benton please."

"Of course, Detective Vecchio."

There was a pause before the theme for O'Canada played. Before the song could begin its third round, a husky voice came over the speaker. "Well, hello, Ray. How may I help you this fine morning?"


"Yes, Ray."

"Okay, just makin sure."

"Of course, Ray."

"Listen, I gotta ask you a few questions about something that happened last night."

"I knew you would."

Ray raised his eyebrows at that. "You did?"

"Yes, Ray. It is normal for people to question it afterwards. So feel free to ask anything you want."

"Oh, okay then. Here goes. First question, what are you wearing right now? Be truthful and descriptive."

Fraser gave a deep, contented sigh. "Right now, I am wearing my uniform, but I am being very bad. You see, I don't have on my usual underwear. No. I am wearing none, in fact. I like the way the fabric of my jodhpurs rubs against my skin, it makes me feel so good."

"Uh, Frase, Frannie is here..."

"Is her presence necessary, Ray?"

"Yeah, 'fraid so."

"I understand. Greetings, Francesca." His voice carried a growling Italian lilt as he pronounced her name.

"Hi, Fraser." Frannie's skin turned a dark shade of red as she tugged on her necklace.

Ray glared at Frannie, but continued on. "Frase, she aint the only one. The Lieu and the duck brothers are here too."

"Isn't that a little much, Ray?"

"Not for this."

"I had no idea you felt that way, Ray."

"Yeah, these things tend to get complicated fast."

Fraser gave an agreeing grunt on the other side. "Of that, I am sure. Trust me, I have had plenty of experience in this."

"You have?" Another eyebrow raise.

"Yes, Ray, many times starting back even before I completed my term at the academy."

There came a whistle from Huey as Dewey laughed.

Ray scowled at them, cleared his throat, then started again. "Frase, I gotta ask you another important question. Is Dief there with you? If so, what is he wearing?"

"Honestly, Ray! That is one step too far. Even I have my limits."

"Calm down, Frase, this is important to the investigation."

Sudden quiet on the other end of the speaker phone. "Investigation?"

"Yeah, Frase. Somebody, dressed like you, flashed Frannie in the park before stealing her purse while she was stunned. Their dog had on a little Mountie hat, and was white, but that is all she could make out. It was dark after all." Silence. "Frase? Frase? Fraser? You there?"

Another minute of silence as the Detectives and Frannie glanced at each other.

A throat cleared on the other end of the phone. "Yes, Ray, I am here, and so is Diefenbaker and Constable Turnbull. It appears someone has stolen our uniforms from the dry cleaners. Including a miniature hat the Constable was working on for Diefenbaker. Is that not correct, Constable."

"Yes, sir. Hello Detectives, I am sorry to not have reported it, but I did make a promise to the dry cleaners to keep it quiet as it was 'bad for business'."

Ray seemed relieved as the duck brothers walked away muttering. Welsh leaned over the desk and spoke into the phone. "Constable, I am gonna have to ask you to come down and file a report. Seems this is not a one time deal, the culprits have been doing it all over the city."

"I will, sir."

"Good." Then he walked away.

Frannie cleared her throat, then smiled at the phone. "Call me, Fraser, any time. You have my number."

"I do, Francesca."

"Good, see ya." She walked away smiling.

Ray gave her the evil eye as she disappeared, then turned back to the phone. "Frase, why did you have to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Don't give me that, and quit scratching your eyebrow, it don't make you look any less guilty."

"Sorry, Ray."

Sighing, he stared at the phone. "So why did you do it, Frase?"

"I believed it was just the two of us."

"And when I said Frannie?"

"As I stated, it would not be the first time I have done such a thing with so many people."

"You know what, Frase, yer a freak!"

"Thank you, Ray. By the way, Constable Turnbull has asked if he could join us, tonight. What do you think? I have seen his... skills, and I must say, I am impressed."

Sighing again, Ray rubbed his forehead. "That is fine with me, but I don't care what he says, I get to be Dr. Frank N. Furter this time. I am tired of being Magenta!"

The End....

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