Never Know How Good it is (Til it's Gone)

By: Lopaka Tanu


Fandom: Earth: Final Conflict.

Category: Slash AU WIP

Warnings: Sexual Aggression, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Language, Violence, Non consensual, Alien mpreg, abuse, and suicide.

Couple: Liam/Joshua, Liam/Jaridian(EC).

Archive: Yes, just say where.

Rating: R-17.

Disclaimer: I do not own Earth: Final Conflict or its characters, some original characters may be mine and the plot line in some places is mine. Some plots belong to Lyta, why, because she wrote them down first. I do not have permission to write this story, but will do it none the less. All you blood sucking lawyers, enjoy!

Author's Note: This story is severely drawn from episodes, but does not follow the series at the end of Crossfire. From there a few parallels with the series. Some POV modes, beware. Points for anyone who can tell me what the Quotes in the beginning of each part are from.

Spoilers: Season 2, parts of 3, 4, and 5. Starting with Between Heaven and Hell.

Summary: When Liam decides to investigate Joshua Doors' nomination of his father for President, it sets events in motion that will forever change his life. It doesn't help, that after his encounter with the Jaridian, he suddenly becomes aware of things that up till now, were barely even thought of. During all this, a friendship forms that will test his loyalties, but what is real, and who is pretending?

Story Note: This story is inspired by what if thoughts and a series by Lyta titled, "Alterations" which can be found at: I have not been able to get in contact with her to ask permission, so please don't be mad if you do read this, Lyta. Hers is a gen story while mine is Slash, so please mind the warnings.

1 Throw me a kiss through space and time.

The Beginning:

It began with a kiss.

Well actually it began before that, but that kiss was a large factor as to why I am here. It has been months since then, nearly a week since I last saw him. We didn't part under pleasurable circumstances, no matter that it was our first time.

Something in me has changed, I can feel it. It grows stronger everyday. At times, I can almost tell what it is, others I am as clueless as the hired goon, Tate.

Now there is an honor student! Tate, the last in a long line of thugs, well if I get my hands free he will be. He has been here taunting me everyday since I was caught. I have no idea what his master wants with me, for he is too stupid to have done this by and or for himself.

I hear sounds coming from the door, somebody is coming down the corridor. Tate said I was to meet my fate today, I can only hope that Lili and Augur find me in time. But if not, I am not going alone frog boy! The door opens, a familiar face, well I'll be damned, literally!

"Ah, the illustrious Major Kincaid, so we meet again."

He had been sitting in Joshua's office for three hours, waiting for the older man to make their meeting. A loud moan escaped his throat as he stretched and yawned. The days events were almost over, saving the world from Adolph Belman and her plans for the master race were the main event. Joshua's announcement was just the icing on the cake.

Still feeling drained, Liam thought on his bed longingly. There was a moral in there some where, what, he had yet to find. Who had known that a Joining could be so energy draining? Sure there was the whole merging of the body and minds, touching of the souls deal, but what the heck was so stressful? May be he was just too young to be doing that sort of thing, after all, Augur said he was fifteen when he first did it. Then again Augur wasn't part energy being and couldn't do that, but from the way he described it all the time, it might be close.

Liam shook his head to clear the thoughts. Checking his watch for the hundredth time, Liam glared at the numbers. One knee started to shake with impatience as the time piece announced a new hour.

"Is there a reason you are scuffing up the floor of my office, or do you like being where you aren't wanted?" Joshua's voice startled him in to standing.

"Major Liam Kincaid, protector to the North American Companion..." He extended his hand but pulled back when Joshua waved it away.

"I know who you are, what I want to know is why you are here?" The hard blue eyes told Liam he was not going to get any warmer a reception.

"I want to know what your political agenda is, Mr. Doors. Does your father know what you are up to in his name? Did he put you up to this? Finally, what are you planning in regards to the Taelons?"

Joshua looked down as he crossed his arms. "I am acting on my father's behalf, that is all you need to know on that." He caught Liam with his eyes as he looked up. "My political agenda, Mr. Kincaid, is to put my father in the White house and replace the puppet who currently resides there. What I am planning in regards to the Taelons is none of your damn business unless I say so. Now you know the way out!"

Having dismissed Liam from his mind, Joshua walked behind his desk and started on reports. After a few moments, he looked up from under his brows and glared. "Aren't you supposed to be leaving?"

"Not until I get my answers." Liam was in a relaxed stance, hands on hips as he looked back at the man in front of him.

A few moments passed as Joshua thought over Liam's presence. Quickly he stood and made his way around towards the younger man. Before Liam could react, Joshua had him by the leather jacket and dragging him towards the door. Opening the door, he was brought up short by the other man's firmly planted feet and forced to face Liam.

Liam smirked as the shorter man in front of him narrowed his eyes. "I want my answers, and I am not leaving until I get them. So spill."

Rolling his eyes, Joshua sighed. "I warned you." His hands shot up and grabbed Liam by the head. With a strength greater than necessary, he pulled the young man's face to his own. Their eyes met and held as Joshua pressed his lips gently against Liam's for a moment then let go. Forcing the stunned man back, he pushed Liam through the doorway of his office. "Have a nice day, Major." Smiling, he slammed the door to his office shut.

Another deep breath as he rolled his shoulders and adjusted his tie, then he walked back behind the desk to sit. As he started to read over the reports again, he absentmindedly rubbed at his lips. Lips that tingled from the sensation of touching ungrounded energy he would later come to realize.

In the hall, Liam leaned up on his elbows and opened his chirping global. The expectant face on the other end did nothing to alleviate his stress.

"Motion detectors say you are in the hall. I take it you have made contact, how did it go?"


"What did he say?"

"He wants you as President, apparently he doesn't feel too highly of our current one. Joshua believes that he has your best interests at heart, now what that means I can't say, for all I know it could be you would be better off dead."

Johnathan snorted. "What about the Taelon agenda, what did he say his plans were regarding them?"

"He told me it was none of my damn business unless he said so. When I refused to take that as a proper response, he assaulted me then tossed me out of his office." Liam rubbed at his lips letting Doors know exactly where he had been *assaulted*.

"He gets that from his Mother's side. Keep me informed of anything further." Doors' image winked out on the global.

"Yes master, anything you say." Grumbling to himself, Liam stood and dusted off his clothes. May be if he hurried, he could still meet up with Lili and Augur at the Liberation head quarters before they moved on to the Flat Planet. They were never going to believe this. Well Augur might not, Lili might make him spill all the juicy details, as she liked to put it. He still didn't understand what the hold such things had on the others. May be it was just him, but sexual attraction just wasn't. Thinking about all the gossips at the Liberation head quarters, he decided to by pass it and just go straight to the bar.

Standing at the bar waiting for Augur to show up, Lili, Maya, and Liam were discussing what he had learned. "And then he told me it was none of my damned business."

Maya was staring at him with wide eyes as Lili smirked. "And what did you say?"

"What was I to say, did I forget to mention I also work for your father and am here on his behalf?"

Both women started to laugh. "I tried telling you, Liam. He is not one to beat around the bush."

"And you know this how, Lili?" Maya's entire focus was on her smirking sister. She was wondering who this Joshua really was and how he differed from his public persona.

"We dated, once." She started to twirl her straw as Maya looked expectantly.


Lili looked her in the eyes with an annoyed expression which quickly turned to teasing. "And what? We went out, had a few drinks, and then I got called out for business. You should have seen Johnathan's reaction when he saw who I was with. Good thing Joshua didn't or else I might still be sitting there listening to them two argue." She finished by taking a long swallow of the drink.

Leaning over the bar, Maya tried to hide her interest by wiping the same spot over again. "And do you think there might be another chance now that he is leading Doors' campaign?"

"Not really, he's just not my type."

"Nor you his." Again Liam was the center of wide eyed stairs. "What?"

"What do you mean I am not his type?" Lili watched him shrug. "Oh no you don't, Liam. What aren't you telling me?" She shared a look with Maya and started back to her interogation. "Did something else happen while you were there? Did he say something to you?"

"No, more like do." He shrugged again as he drank from the fruit beverage.

"What did he do?" Lili brought him around to face her. "Do I have to get a telepath to scan you? I know a few..."

"When I refused to take no for an answer, he dragged me to the door, kissed me, then tossed me out like yesterday's trash. Johnathan said he get's it from his mother's side, so I can only assume Joshua has done this before." He said it so nonchalantly that it made Lili's blood boil.

"What in hell is that supposed to mean? You based your opinion of his sexuality on a diversionary tactic?" She placed a hand on his arm. "Liam, just because he kissed you to distract you long enough to throw you out, doesn't men he is gay. It is one of the oldest tricks in the book."

"I know that, I have the combined knowledge of my parents, remember. And no, I did not base my entire opinion on that. The bulge in his pants was also a pretty good indicator of his attraction." He ignored the dumbed expressions on their faces as he continued, listing things off on his fingers. "Not to mention the elevated body temperature, dialated pupils, and the energy surge."

"Energy surge?" This time it was Maya who was about to explode with frustration.

"When a person is attracted to another, their body chemistry alters and electrical surges are produced. That is what people mean when they say it felt like a spark. In some cases it is a spark, quite literally. When this energy meets a compatiable energy signature, a spark is released, both feel it even if only on a subconious level. Thus you know if you are compatible." Liam gestured with his hands to show off an energy flash between them drawn from his own body. "Two opposite energies attract and set off a chemical reaction in the body stimulating a chemical rush of euphoria called endorphins. It clouds the mind and impairs judgement like that drink you have been sucking on, Lili."

She looked at the drink then sat it down dusting off her hands distractedly. "So what you are saying is, you felt this spark?"

"Basically. It was just an automatic responce to his energy burst. We were testing each other's energy compatibility." Continuing to ignore their intrest, he started to sip the drink again.

"So what was it like, the kiss and the whole energy exchange?"

Liam looked up in contemplation as his brow furrowed. "It was different. I have never experienced anything like it before. His hands grabbed my face and he pulled me close. The faint scent of aftershave mixed with a musky smell of his body and sweat. Getting closer, I noticed his pupils dialated and his breath paused just before our lips met. Softly, his lips pressed against mine, and the heat from his stung mine. It was then I felt the part of him reach out for contact and my energy reacted on instinct. The charge was strong and the pleasure was instant. He pulled back quickly and left breathless as he pushed me out his door. Told me have a nice day, then slammed it shut." He seemed lost in thought before shaking his head to clear it. "Oh well, just another new experience I can never tell about."

Lili was swirling her drink with her finger, as Maya played with her necklace. Both seemed to be glazed over. Maya snapped out of it first. "So were you?"

"Were I what?"

"Were you and him compatible?" Both women leaned in at his smile.

"Oh, you mean did I feel that mindless bliss that says we are compatible." Nods from the women. "Then the answer is..."

"Liam! Thank god I found you, it is like a mad house in here tonight." Augur noticed that the women seemed to be glaring daggers his way as Liam smirked. "So what did I miss?"

Maya snorted in anger as she walked away to serve another customer. Lili started to rub at the back of her head as she focused on her drink. "Oh nothing, Liam was just telling us about his first kiss."

Augur gave him a big grin as he punched the Hybrid in the arm. "Liam, you casanova, not even a year old and already tha ladies' man. Guess your uncle Augur is rubbing off, huh?" He glared as Lili snorted her drink. "So where did you two meet?"

Lili beat Liam to the punch. "Oh, on a work related assignment," she said as she took a drink, enjoying prolonging the torment.

"So, would I know this person?" Augur looked between them as Liam lowered his head nodding and Lili snorted.

"Oh, you could say that."

"Was she any good?" Grinning like a maniac, Augur was starting to feel smug that his lessons *were* paying off.

"Yes, and no."

"Lili, would you let him tell me? The boy hasn't gotten a word in edge wise. Go on Liam, tell me already!"

She held up her hands in submission. "All right, tell him."

"Yeah, tell me." Augur was getting anxious as Lili continued to shake from what he assumed was laughter.

"It was okay, not as much as Lili would have you believe."

"Are you kidding, you practically said it was magical with all that sparks and energy attraction stuff," came a reply from behind the bar.

"Butt out, Maya! Liam, are you going to tell me or do I have to..."

"As you know I was on assignment for doors." He looked back to his drink at Augur's nod.

"So you and who, Joshua's secretary, his fellow blood suckers, who?"

"Uh that would be a no, I didn't see his secretary or any other people, it was late and Doors told me to be discreet." He did a thorough examination of the back of his hand as the wheels turned in Augur's head.

"So if you didn't see any one at Joshua's office, yet you still got your first kiss. That means..." Augur staired at the Hybrid with wide eyes. "It couldn't be. You mean Joshua... and you... you and he..."

Liam nodded.

Augur waved it off with a sigh. "Oh well, guess you have to start some where. But why did it have to be Joshua? He is just so..."

"Male," Lili offered helpfully.

"Much older! He is old enough to be Liam's father. Not to mention the fact he is Johnathan's son... what?" The women found other things to make busy with. "What aren't you telling me, Liam?"

"Johnathan already knows, he contacted me the moment Joshua's door closed on my face."

"Oh hell! I would learn to sleep with both eyes open if I were you. Just to be on the safe side, avoid all contact with the old man for the next century."

"Not necissary, Augur. He merely shrugged and said Joshua got it from his mother's side then told me to keep him aprised of all changes."

Augur started to laugh as he clapped he younger man on the back. "Oh I say things have just changed, changed a hell of a lot."

"How, I mean it's not like I am intrested in him? It was just a kiss, don't over react, Augur."

"For starters, it is never just a kiss."

"He tossed me out of his office afterwards, it was just a distraction so he could do it."

"Then it was just a kiss."

"That is what I said. Not as if it mattered in the first place, I simply am not intrested in people that way."

"I suppose you are right, being that you are only five months old and all." Augur sighed as they both turned back to the bar. "But still, it was your first kiss and who would I be if I didn't help you celibrate."

"I'm not getting married Augur, it was just a kiss."

"Right, that is why we are only having a few friends over, say the Liberation. Do you think Joshua would come if I invited him? That way you two could pick up where you left off."

Lili slapped him over the arm. "Augur!"

"Okay! Sheesh, don't bite my head off. I'll drop it."

"Thank you." Liam downed the rest of his drink and grabbed his coat as he left the bar.

"Where are you going, Liam?"

"Up stairs, I am tired. A Joining will take it out of you."

Augur growled as Lili's drink was spit all over his back. "What the hell, Lili?"

In the confusion, Liam slipped away from the glare Lili was sending his way. Silently she vowed to get him to fess up when he had done it and who with. Right now she had a pissed Augur to deal with.

"What was that all about?"

"You mean you don't know what a Joining is?"

"No, so tell me. What is it? Why would you know about it and not me? What is so special that Liam would be tired afterwards?"

Signaling Maya for a towel, she ignored the questions Augur was pelting her with. "Shut up!" She waited until he complied. "Okay, this is what I know. If a sharing is the Taelon equivlant of kissing, then a joining is..." Lili made obscure pounding gestures with her hands.

"Are you telling me that the kid and some one had sex?"

"No, don't be crude, Augur." Turn in disgust, Lili walked away as Augur started to apologize. "It's called a Joining," she threw over her shoulder as she ran out the back exit.

Cursing, Augur turned back to the bar towel to clean his back. "Women!" Augur snorted in disgust then another thing occored to him. "So the kid is a man, well I'll be... Now who did he Join with? If only energy beings do it, then that means... Da'an?" He shuddered at that thought. "Talk about Odipus Rex. Not even the kid is that messed up. Zo'or, may be. That gives new meaning sleeping your way to the top."

Joshua entered his apartment adjusting his tie, the suit already partially undone. Closing the door, his attention was captured by the lamp coming on.

"That's a hell of a way to say hello."

Startled, Joshua jumped at the voice. "Dad!"

"The one and only. What do you think you were doing?"

He smirked as he set down his brief case and removed the tie completely. "I stick by my opinion that you would be the better candidate."

"You know that is not what I meant. He is a Companion Protector!" Johnathan sat forward in his chair. "Do you know what trouble he could cause if you were caught?"

"How did you find out?"

"I have my resources. I want you to stay away from him. Kincaid is a dangerous man in any form, but is deadly as a Companion Protector." A smile creased his features. "Besides, what would the press think if they saw my Campaign manager, my son, kissing the enemy?"

"Let's get one thing straight, dad, I will see who I want, when I want. Another thing, I am glad to hear you accept my nomination. Back to the matter at hand, it was just a distraction, something to get him off balance and out of my office. Even if it was something more, you have no right to tell me who I can and can not date. You lost that one a long time ago."

"You're right."

"Of course I am." Still standing next to the door, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You are right about me saying who you can and can not date, not about Liam. I don't want you around him. I don't trust him, he is hiding things for the Taelons, and you should not get caught up in them." Johnathan was standing by now. "Liam Kincaid is a dangerous man. I want you to keep your distance. You have to if we have any chance of winning this campagn."

"Why is it so important that I stay away from him? Is he one of your operatives and being seen with me might jeopardize his cover?" Thinking he figured it out, Joshua smiled at his father.

Johnathan scoffed at him. "Hardly, that man is a menace, and as big a traitor to our people as Agent Sandoval. I wouldn't trust either one as far as I could shoot them. Besides," he fought to hide the amusement, "I have reason to believe he may not be who he claims."

"What are you talking about?" Joshua stepped closer as his father pulled a foulder from his brief case near his feet.

"These are photos of the real Major Liam Kincaid. Who this man is, or more accurately, what this man is, are still a mystery. It is believed he is a Taelon project himself, with the suddeness of his appearance and appointment of his position, we can't be far off. I have my best people working on this, so stay out of the line of fire."

"Are you saying you are going to kill him?"

"If it comes down to it." He sighed at his son's wide disbelieving stare. "Listen Joshua, I don't want to harm anyone any more than you do, but if it comes to a war, we have to know who we can trust. That means knowing not only who your enemies are, but what. Right now, we barely know who he is, not a clue as to what. Who knows, for all I do, he could be just another mindless atamoton the Taelons have lured to their traps. Just stay away from him."

Tired of the head trip his father was putting him through, Joshua rubbed his temples. "Fine, now can we get down to your campaign?"

"Be my guest."

"Actually it is the other way around, but let's get started anyways."

Agent Sandoval stood next to the Cryogenics chamber looking at his pocket watch. After a few moments he snapped it closed and assumed his interogative position. His eyes focused on the transparent door of the chamber as the mists inside started to part. At the appearance of the reptillian figure, Sandoval raised an eyebrow. "I believe we have much to discuss..."

"I am Keloren."

"Mr. Keloren, I can offer you a deal, something that will satisfy both our peoples."

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