Asta La Vista Baby
Lopaka Tanu
Rated: R
Warnings: MPREG, no beta, & really bad jokes.
Author's Note: Okay sleep deprivation and working on my stories gives me really weird ideas.
Category: T2 Drabble
--Year 2002. Five years after the war started.--
"I can't believe this happened! How could this of happened?" John Conner sat glaring at the little blue mark on the stick.
"I don’t know."
"Did I ask you? No! So just sit down and shut up." He paced around the small living quarters. "This can't happen, I won't let it! I’ll send you back and make you tell my mother that we can't let it happen."
"You can’t change the future, John. This was inevitable."
"I won't accept that."
"You must. It’s the only way."
John glared at him. "Do you have any idea what my mom is going to say when she finds out? She is going to kill you."
"Don't worry, I'll be back. I always come back."
"Yeah, that's fine for you, but if she learns that her son is pregnant, she will be here so fast your head will spin around twice."
The android looked at his mate. "I am made with a metal endoskeleton. My head will not spin around."
"Yeah well, that's fine for you, but what about me? No, I simply won't tell her. You know, if she finds out, heads are gonna roll."
"My head will not roll."
John looks at him. "Ha ha, very funny. She is going to take one look at him and it’s ‘Asta la vista baby’. Never going to see him again."
"Perhaps it is better we did not tell her."
"Ya think?"
A loud clatter is heard in the background. Sarah Conner comes walking in with a shotgun and a distinctive limp.
John screams. "Nooooo Noooo! Run for your lives, she's going to kill us all! She's going to kill us all!" He falls on his butt and starts to back up.
The android looks down on John and offers his hand. "Come with me if you want to live."
"John! You stay away from him, you metal bastard. John, come here, I don't want to hurt you. It's me, mom, remember? John, how come you never call? I just want to hear from you once in a while. Now I hear you are pregnant! What in hell were you thinking? I just wanted to know if you were all right, is that too much to ask for? Now how about a hug?"
John screams and rushes over to activate the time portal. He looks at his lover. "Go! I am sending you back to the night this happened. Go before it's too late."
The cyborg rushes through the time portal.
--Three Months earlier.--
A glowing energy ball appears, and a naked cyborg stands up in the little crater. He turns around and starts scanning the area. He notices John at his desk and walks over. He scans John, who stands to look at him. "Give me your clothes."
"Why?" John licks his lips.
"Do not argue, it is for your own safety."
"Oh, okay."
Three hours later.
"Wow, that was good."
The cyborg takes a hit from his cigarette. "I agree."
"So, was that what you were sent back for?" John asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
"No."
"Then why?" He looks at his lover questioning.
"To remind you, call your mother."
"Why?"
"I have a feeling you are going to need her soon."
"Why?" John was starting to get a little scared.
T800 looks at John's lower abdomen and places a hand there. "Because we have a little terminator on the way."
THE END.....